Today was our second day of homeschooling, and boy, am I overwhelmed. After overcoming the frustrations of figuring out the system of online schooling, I am faced with a 13 year old boy who does not want to do the work, and simply wants to take the final exam and be done with it.. I try explaining that can't happen, but my soft and somewhat joking reply wasn't well received. I can understand where this boy is coming from, lots of frustration at school, hence the homeschooling, wanting to be done with school and enjoy his summer, but instead he is stuck studying, with me.. guess I can't really blame his lack of enthusiasm. I would most likely feel the same. Oh, but this young man and his schoolwork are of course not my only life challenge, not even close, I wish that it was.
My own lack of enthusiasm in my own life is under the scope, and I am left pulling myself together. Because, as of late, I have been falling apart. Many things in my life need to change, and with the help of the Lord, I pray that I can come back to life again. To feel whole. Complete. Somewhere along the path that I have been on, I've lost that feeling, and begin to question if I ever truly felt it in the first place. I hunger for change, for unrelenting satisfaction. To grow inwardly, and to be something more than what I am.
God, I pray that I can overcome the need to hide inside myself, to open my heart to life, to others, to happiness. To appreciate all that I have, because I have so much. To be grateful. Amen.
